Being too strict with your children robs them of the little joys of childhood that they can cherish for the rest of their lives. If you were raised by strict parents, you might not want your children to go through the ordeal of following your orders and would rather try out the permissive parenting style. Permissive parents are not demanding and treat their children as equals. They are against the idea of exerting control over their children and believe in nurturing them by being emotionally supportive and responsive. Read this post as we discuss permissive parenting and the pros and cons of this parenting style.
What Is Permissive Parenting?
Permissive parenting, otherwise known as ‘indulgent parenting’ or ‘lenient parenting,’ is one of the parenting styles identified by Diana Baumrind (1). Permissive parents are highly responsive towards their children’s needs and nurture their talents and personality. But they are least demanding because they have low expectations on discipline and self-regulation from their children. You can understand the concept better with a few examples.
Examples Of Permissive Parenting
Here is how a permissive parent reacts to various typical scenarios: Example #1: You are at the grocery store, your son asks you for ice cream, despite already having two during the day. You don’t want to upset your child, so you say, “Fine, you’ve been good today, so I’ll buy you one.” Example #2: You don’t specify timings for play, study, or sleep. Even when you know your child has to wake up early the next day for school, you don’t remind her to sleep early. Example #3: You have been saving up to buy an expensive smartphone for yourself. But your child demands a PlayStation. He would not listen to you or understand that you are longing to buy a phone. So, you prioritize his want over yours and buy whatever he wants. Example #4: You tell your teenager to study as the exams are round the corner. But she has two late night parties to attend in the next two days. You do not object to it but allow her to go and have fun, while the studies take a backseat. Example #5: “Can you wind up your toys after you are done playing? You don’t have to dear if you are tired.” So, do you belong to this type? Read on to know.
Characteristics Of Permissive Parents
Some of the typical traits of permissive parents include:
Loving and nurturing, but without rules and boundaries.
Emotionally supportive, highly responsive, and less demanding.
More of a friend than a parent to the child.
Offer minimal structure, order, or schedule.
Avoid conflicts and confrontations with the child.
Want to be liked instead of upsetting the children.
Provide no consequences for their child’s negative behavior.
Have minimal routines or schedules for children and the few that they may have, are inconsistent and often broken to give in to the child’s demands.
Excessively use rewards to get things done.
Allow too much screen time and junk food.
Use toys and gifts to motivate their child behave well.
Focus on the child’s freedom at the expense of learning to accept limits.
When the parents are this lenient, then the children develop some easy-going traits. What are they?
Permissive Parenting: Typical Traits In Children
Children may love permissive parenting style as it gives them the maximum freedom without any strings attached. But it could be problematic in the long-run. Here are the traits of children raised by permissive parents:
Trouble regulating emotions.
Rebellious when their demands are challenged.
Have little self-control or self-regulation. Have difficulty in following the rules. Lack discipline and oppose authority. May not take responsibility for their behavior. Studies indicate an association between permissive parenting style and behavioral problems and substance abuse in teenagers (2). They may be demanding and have difficulty sharing. Lack of boundaries results in insecurity in children.Permissive parenting does more harm than good to the children. However, it has a few advantages too.
Pros And Cons Of Permissive Parenting
Here we tell you about how permissive parenting can be good as well as bad.
Benefits:
As this parenting style focuses on being a friend to a child rather than a parent, the parents understand their children better, and communication becomes easy as they grow old. Here are some more benefits of permissive parenting:
Drawbacks:
Giving excessive leniency may have significant negative consequences. Let’s see what the drawbacks of permissive parenting are: Since permissive parents do not want to upset their children, they give their children everything they ask for. The child does not learn the difference between needs and wants. The drawbacks are not limited to the day-to-day schedule of the children but have a long-term effect on their psyche.
Effects Of Permissive Parenting
Children love freedom, but when they misuse it or when there are no boundaries to check their behavior, the effects can be unpleasant. Here are some behavioral problems that may result from permissive parenting: If you have been a permissive parenting but now want to change your style, then it is never too late.
What Can You Do If You Are A Permissive Parent?
It is time you incorporated the below strategies into your parenting style:
