As children reach their teenage years, you may find it difficult to handle them because their thoughts and behavior patterns change drastically. Some children may also become narcissistic teenagers who are self-absorbed. These children are more likely to be unaware of others’ emotions and expect people to praise them. Often, narcissism is a temporary behavioral change that occurs in many adolescents but tapers off after a few years. However, sometimes, some underlying causes may lead to personality changes. If you feel your children’s behavior affects their growth and development, you may take a professional’s advice. Read this post to learn how to recognize the signs of narcissism in teenagers and ways to handle a narcissistic teenager.
Meaning Of Narcissism
Narcissism refers to a state of mind where your teen starts thinking extremely highly about themself and their physical appearance. Your teen may become self-centered, always talking about their talents, looks, and capabilities, without being empathetic toward others (1).
Teenage Narcissism
Experts believe that today’s teens are fonder of nice things than those in the earlier generations used to be. Researchers also found that while the teens nurture a desire to have a luxurious life, they are not willing to work hard to achieve that. In most cases, the feeling is superficial. Teens long to earn huge money to maintain a luxurious lifestyle, but they do not want to work hard for it. There is a gap between a teen’s dreams and their willingness to work towards them. This tendency is said to be increasing narcissistic trends in adolescents.
Signs That Your Teen Is A Narcissistic
Here are a few of the most common signs that will tell you whether or not your teen is turning into a narcissist (2) (3):
1. They feel they are better than everyone else:
It is a classic sign that signals towards narcissism. Your teen may genuinely believe that he or she is better than everyone else, but it may not have anything to do with their personal achievements. In many cases, he gets this feeling due to lifestyle factors, such as the locality you live, the car you or your teen drives, the type of clothes or brands that your teen wears, and the things your teen owns.
2. They exaggerate their abilities:
Your teen may start bragging to friends about the many talents or gifts he or she has. For instance, they may tell friends that no one can sing or dance as gracefully as they can do. Your teen may start believing in the exaggerated version of self.
3. They expect praise from everyone:
Whether or not your teen truly deserves to be honored, they start expecting it as a natural reaction towards them. Your teen may not have done anything out of the ordinary that deserves appreciation but may still get offended if no one says good things.
4. They do not think about others’ emotions:
While your teen is constantly looking for praise and laurel, he or she may fail to recognize the emotions that others go through. It can turn into a situation where your teen gets selfish and worries only about themselves. Anything that is not directly related to them becomes unimportant.
5. They look down upon other people:
Your teen may not be as good as they think they are and will have a negative opinion about those whom they perceive to be inferior. Your child may also be outright rude to them.
6. They have difficulty maintaining relationships:
If your teen keeps changing their friends or partners frequently, it could be due to their narcissistic attitude. When your teen treats others as inferior but expects admiration and praise, it could wreak havoc in any relationship.
7. They think they already know everything:
Your teen will refuse to learn anything new as he or she feels that there is nothing new to learn. Your teen will have a distorted sense of intelligence and intellect, and do not want to learn anything from anyone.
Dealing With Your Narcissistic Teenager
If you observe these signs of narcissism in teenagers, here are a few tips to deal with the situation (4) (5):
1. Pay attention to your teen:
You may think that this is what you should not do when your teen has such high views of self, but often, your child’s attitude could be due to their craving for your attention. Tell your teen how important and valuable he or she is, and why they are special to you. It will be great for your teen to realize that their family always loves and values them.
2. Keep a check on your teen’s social media interactions:
Monitor your teen’s social media pages and their interactions with friends and contacts. If you feel that your teen is rude or insensitive to others, make sure you talk to them about it and explain why such behavior is uncalled for. Put faith in your teen’s ability to behave and you may be surprised when they take a new direction.
3. Show them that appearance is not everything:
Emphasize on the fact that looking good or wearing the best of brands does not reflect his inner self. Tell them that they should let go of materialistic and superficial things at least once a week and see how the world does not notice. Let your daughter remove makeup and wear simple home clothes. Do the same yourself and take a trip to the local grocery store. Ask her if she has felt like someone has looked down on her or has behaved rudely because of her simple looks. If you have a teen son, let him take a bus once a week instead of a car. Ask him how he felt about it and if someone looked down upon him for not traveling in a car.
4. Ignore their self talk:
Start ignoring your teen if they constantly talk highly about themself. Do not criticize or try to correct them all the time. If you do not pay any attention, they may change their trend for good.
Treat Your Narcissistic Teenagers Behavior
Being narcissistic is not a health issue and you can surely help your teen get rid of it. Here’s how you can do that (2):
Take your teen to a therapist, who will help them deal with various emotions such as anger, depression, shame, guilt, inadequacy, self-consciousness, insecurity, or any other such negative emotion. The therapist will talk to your teen and understand how they behave while going through these emotions. They will help your child change their outlook on their issues. The professional will also explain to your teen how bringing a change in behavior will affect their life and build stronger relationships with others. While teaching them to behave in a different way, the expert will also instill the values of empathy in your child. As a result, they will realize how their behavior could hurt someone. If your teen suffers from anxiety, stress or depression, the therapist may suggest a course of medication to ease the symptoms. The medications will not help in treating your teen’s narcissistic behavior, but will help in anger, guilt, depression, or shame that trigger narcissism in them.
Guidelines From Experts
Here are a few guidelines and tips that experts suggest to face your narcissistic teens:
Regulate the allowance you give your teen to control their spending habits. It will help your teen realize the importance of saving money and spending it smartly. You might also want to consider having your teen earn money by doing chores. No matter how your teen chooses to behave, avoid the urge to step in and help in a tricky situation. For instance, if your teen was driving the car and bumped it somewhere, make sure that they face the consequences. Also, repair the damages using your kid’s money. Make sure that your teen understands the need to apologize when they have been rude or insensitive to others. If they do not proactively apologize after behaving badly with someone, point it out and make them do so immediately.
Whenever you praise your teen or appreciate them for their efforts, limit it to that particular achievement rather than being generic. For instance, if your son made a beautiful painting, say something like: “I think you made a really beautiful picture here,” instead of saying: “I think you are a wonderful painter already.” This careful appreciation will let your teen understand that you are referring to the job done on the painting (6).
