A dysfunctional family is unstable and witnesses frequent fights. Usually, parents in such families neglect or abuse their children, making their lives difficult. There could be various reasons behind such behavior of a family member. It could be alcoholism or other drug addiction, mental illness, or abusive behavior. Children growing up in such families go through emotional traumas that take a toll on their mental health. They also show a tendency to be involved in criminal activities. If you want to know more details about a dysfunctional family, its signs, how it affects the children, and how to deal with the problems, reading our post could give you an insight.
What Is A Dysfunctional Family?
A dysfunctional family (DF) is one where the normal healthy functioning of the family is impeded through negative behavior such as abuse, apathy, neglect, or lack of emotional support. In DF, the relationship between the parent and child is tensed and unnatural; parents constantly neglect or abuse the child and the other family members accommodate such behavior. In some cases, children end up with low self-esteem and grow up with the belief that such behavior is normal.
Understanding Dysfunctional Family Relationships
Ideally, children should grow up in an environment which helps them feel lovable and valuable. They should have the freedom to express their thoughts and desires, and as a parent, you need to fulfill them if you think they are appropriate and realistic. Such children grow up to be emotionally healthy and go on to have healthy relationships. However, when children grow up in an environment where their needs are curbed or they are constantly criticized and abused, they:
have low self-esteem and poor self-image.
feel that their needs are not important or perhaps it’s not right to articulate their needs.
grow up with the belief that such an arrangement is normal and accept it as a part of their life.
Individuals, who come from a dysfunctional family, have some typical characteristics. Let’s know about them in the next section.
Signs You Come From A Dysfunctional Family
Look out for these signs to know if your family is falling into the dysfunctional category. Having a couple of these signs does not mean that your family is dysfunctional. But if you can relate to most of these, then check if your family has the characteristics of a dysfunctional family.
Characteristics Of Dysfunctional Families
There is negativity in dysfunctional families leading to an unpleasant atmosphere. Here are some common characteristics of such families: Children brought up in dysfunctional families might end up heading another dysfunctional family as adults. While perpetuation is one of the reasons, there are a few other things that result in a dysfunctional family.
Reasons For Dysfunctional Families
Here are a few other reasons for the dysfunctionality in families:
1. Addiction:
When one or both parents in the family have an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or gambling, they tend to neglect their responsibilities, including those towards their family. For people suffering with an addiction, relationships and love for their children can suffer also. Once addiction takes over, it becomes hard to show compassion and foster their relationships. They seem to be in a separate world, away from reality.
2. Violent behavior:
The violent behavior of one or more members of the family breaks down the foundation of that family. The others live in a fear of being physically and emotionally hurt and thus keep a distance from each other. Lack of interaction creates a distance between them.
3. Financial situation:
Money is an essential requirement for having a functional family because you simply need money to survive. In scenarios where parents discontinue working or are unable to meet the financial requirements of the family, it leads to instability and makes the family dysfunctional.
4. Authority:
The urge of a person to have control of the members of the family vitiates the atmosphere at home.. They might unleash tyranny and the others do not have an option but to do what the person tells them to. Such behavior curtails their freedom and makes the members dislike each other.
5. Religious fundamentalism:
When the parents have strong religious beliefs, they might develop rigidity, thus enforcing their beliefs on children. Such actions restrict the environment at home for the kids to grow up and feel accepted. The reasons and circumstances behind dysfunctionality vary from one family to another. And each situation might have varied effects on the child. The reasons and circumstances behind dysfunctionality vary from one family to another. And each situation might have varied effects on the child.
Effects Of Growing Up In A Dysfunctional Family
The family members of a dysfunctional family tend to accept it to be normal or deny there is a problem in the family, without realizing its damaging effects. Living in a dysfunctional family can have lasting psychological effects that are carried into adulthood. Children who grow up in dysfunctional families: The scenario in a dysfunctional family might look bad but it is reversible. You need to identify the dysfunctionality, address the problem and find a healthy solution to lead a healthy life.
How To Overcome The Effects Of Dysfunctional Families?
It might seem challenging to overcome the effects of dysfunctional families, but it’s not impossible. All it takes is some effort and a lot of patience. Here is what you can do:
1. Get help:
The most common thing to happen in dysfunctional families is that the children start questioning their abilities and intuitions. They grow up with low levels of confidence and poor emotional health. A helping hand from friends or professional counselors can provide you some support.
2. Express yourself:
Share your feelings with family members, who are nice to you. Talk to the others in the family, share your thoughts and know theirs. Discuss with them how you can make amends to your relationship.
3. Be responsible:
Learn to be responsible for your family dynamic. Understand your role in it, and know what expectations the other members have of you. Before trying to change the others in the family, make an effort to change yourself and turn proactive.
4. Trust others:
When you grow up in an environment where your parents don’t trust each other, it becomes difficult for you to trust others. You need to make an effort to build trust with your genuine friends and relatives. However, you don’t have to follow anyone blindly. Once you start believing people and strike a balance between blind trust and utter distrust, you’ll find peace.
5. Mend your relationships with the family:
It’s not easy to change others in a dysfunctional family, but you can surely change yourself. You can motivate others to follow your footsteps. Things might just turn around. Do not indulge in unnecessary arguments with family.
