Conflicts are a part of life, and thus, conflict resolution skills for teenagers are important to help them deal with things more efficiently. Teens are an age during which there are a lot of hormonal and emotional changes happening in the body. These changes make temper tantrums, conflict, and lashing out on other common teenage behavior traits (1). There is a common complaint of others not getting how they feel and what they are going through. Therefore, to make these years manageable, it is essential to teach conflict resolution skills to your teen. Read on to know more about these skills and the ways in which you can teach them.
Why Does Conflict Occur?
Conflict is part of life. No matter how much you want to protect your child from it, she has to face this reality. Conflict can occur within the family, with siblings and parents, with friends, and with society in general. But the one thing you need to teach your teenagers is that a conflict need not be a negative experience. Remember, conflict can lead to change, positive change!
Consequences of Teenage Conflicts
Conflicts may lead to challenging situations for teens since they often lack the necessary skills to tackle them. At home, unresolved conflicts can lead to strained relations. Outside, it can lead to broken friendships, hours of detention, and even violence!
Teaching Conflict Resolution Skills For Teenagers
As a parent, it is part of your job to help your child navigate life without too many hiccups. Start early and teach your teenager some easy ways to manage conflict. She may not thank you for it today, but you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done! Teach your teenager the following conflict resolution ‘commandments’ (2):
Commandment 1:
Conflict is a reality. There is no escaping the fact. Hiding won’t solve anything.
Commandment 2:
You can’t wish the problem away. Don’t pretend and put on a mask. Keeping your feelings cooped inside won’t work.
Commandment 3:
Learn to deal with the problem, not the person. Conflict occurs because of a particular issue, not because of a person. Don’t make it personal.
Commandment 4:
Be respectful. Listen to the other person. Really listen. Listening to your parents or teachers may seem like a drag but zoning out is not the solution.
Commandment 5:
Be assertive. You don’t need to be either passive or aggressive to deal with teen conflicts. You need to be assertive. Being assertive means putting your views forward confidently and calmly.
Commandment 6:
Learn to negotiate. This is the most important skill you need to learn. Negotiating is a skill that will serve you in the long term.
Commandment 7:
Stick to the present. Don’t drag in past issues. Doing so will only muddy the conflict further.
Commandment 8:
The silent treatment does not work. Sulking is as bad as getting aggressive – it won’t solve the problem. Talk it out.
Commandment 9:
Be understanding. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoe. Don’t get defensive and analyze the situation.
Commandment 10:
Learn to say sorry. Stand in front of the mirror and practice, if the need be! If you are wrong, accept it. Doing so will not make you a wimp. Only a strong person has the strength to say ‘sorry’. This simple word can work like magic, try it! These commandments are skills that will help your teenager not just deal with conflicts, but with life in general. But teenagers are stubborn. When you find yourself losing patience, take a deep breath. Remember, you too were a teenager once.
